


I Can be the One

by vogue91



Category: Hey! Say! JUMP, Johnny's Entertainment
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Denial, Despair, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-28
Updated: 2018-06-28
Packaged: 2019-05-29 20:29:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15081125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vogue91/pseuds/vogue91
Summary: “It’s not fair that you won't talk to me. It’s not fair that you haven’t even given me an explanation, it’s not fair that...”“I’ve given you my explanation, Kota! I told you I'm sorry, I told you I don’t love you anymore. And it seems to me like it’s a good reason to break up, isn’t it?”





	I Can be the One

When Kei came to the door Kota got surprised, as usual.

Every time he saw him after all, he was hit by how beautiful he looked, and it was something he was never going to get used to.

“Oh... it’s you.” Inoo told him as soon as he saw him, and Yabu tried to ignore the disappointment in his voice.

He was never going to get used to that either.

“Why don’t you pick up the phone, Kei-chan?” he murmured, skipping any pleasantries.

The younger bit his lip, shaking his head.

“Come in. You’re soaked head to toe.” he said, moving away to let him inside.

Yabu looked at himself, as if he had realized just now he was wet.

As if he hadn't realized it was raining while he walked toward Kei’s place.

“Why don’t you answer my calls?” he insisted, quickly taking off his shoes, careful not to wet the floor.

But Kei, once again, pretended he hadn't heard.

He went to the bathroom, and came back with a towel which he handed to the elder.

“Here... you’re going to catch a cold for sure.” he scolded him.

Kota shrugged, distractedly drying his hair.

“Kei...” he murmured then, taking a step forward to get closer.

“Why did you come here, Ko? If I didn’t answer your calls it means I don’t want to talk to you, doesn’t it?”

Yabu took the hit, lowering his eyes on the floor.

“It’s not fair that you won't talk to me. It’s not fair that you haven’t even given me an explanation, it’s not fair that...” he started, but the other rushed to interrupt him.

“I’ve given you my explanation, Kota! I told you I'm sorry, I told you I don’t love you anymore. And it seems to me like it’s a good reason to break up, isn’t it?” he asked, his voice loud. “You can't force me to feel something that just isn’t there anymore.” he murmured then, digging his nails in the palms of his hands.

Yabu started breathing faster, panicking. He got closer, putting his hands on his shoulders and starting to caress him slowly, holding him as if he didn’t want to let him go.

He pretended he didn’t notice the discomfort on the other’s face.

“Kei... I know I haven’t always been good with you during these years. I know how I made you feel, I know what mistakes I made, but... I don’t think it’s so hard to find a solution. You can make me pay how much you want, you can keep treating me like I'm crazy because I try and hide our relationship, you can be mean to me, cruel if you want. I just need you to love me, because all the time we’ve spent together can't just be gone, as if nothing had ever happened.” he told him, trying to keep his voice in check.

It was the first time he talked to him like that.

It was the first time he showed his feelings, what he truly thought, the first time he put his pride and shame aside and opened to him.

And he couldn’t help but thinking that, had he done that before, maybe they wouldn’t have reached this point.

“I was clear, Kota.” Inoo whispered, uncomfortable, shifting his weight.

The elder brushed a hand over his face, caressing him slowly, almost getting surprised by the texture of his skin, as if the last weeks had erased the memory of that feeling from his mind.

“You’ve been more than clear, Kei. I'm just saying I love you, that you’re the most important thing I have, and that I don’t think I can...”

“I’ve been seeing Yuya.” the other said all of a sudden out loud, interrupting him abruptly. “For a year, Ko. I'm sorry, I... I didn’t want you to...” he hesitated, then he chose to keep quiet.

Yabu let go of him, as if his skin was burning.

_For a year._

Where had he been during that year? Why hadn't he realized he didn’t have Kei for so long, why hadn't he been able to do anything to keep him?

“What... what have I done wrong, Kei?” he asked, frowning and desperately trying not to cry, because he still wanted to keep for himself that semblance of pride he had left after having told him he loved him, and having felt betrayed.

The younger shrugged, as if he couldn’t give him an answer.

“You’ve done nothing wrong, Kota. There... there was nothing you could’ve done anyway.” he said, chewing on his lower lip.

Yabu nodded once, twice.

And then he tried to smile, handing the towel to him and heading toward the entrance.

“You were right, in the end. There was a reason why you weren’t picking up my calls.” he murmured. “I better leave now, Kei. We... we’ll see each other, I suppose.”

“It’s raining, Kota. If you go out there again you’re going to get sick.” the other told him, not so much convinced and completely inappropriate for that situation, but Yabu didn’t mind it.

Not for that, at least, or perhaps for nothing at all.

 _Walk in the rain with me, and I wouldn’t even like sun better_ he though, but he didn’t say it, because then it would've hurt too much, because then that dignity was really going to disappear.

Not that it made any sense anyway, because he wasn’t going to be able to hide that love he had declared only minutes before.

He just shrugged and got out the front door.

He didn’t say goodbye to Kei. He didn’t even look at him.

He couldn’t even have the courage to tell him he hated him for what he had done to him, because it wouldn’t have been true, because despite everything he couldn’t hate him for his betrayal.

He could only be sad about it, and perhaps hate himself a little.

It was still raining outside, Kei was right, and now he could see that clearly.

But weather wasn’t important, not now when he was sure Kei had left him alone.


End file.
